


Day Old Hate

by Ricechex



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Angst, Gen, Missing Scene, Spoilers, Touch & Geaux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 20:12:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ricechex/pseuds/Ricechex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between Chapters 10 & 11 of <i>Touch & Geaux</i>. Explores how Ty spent that night after Zane kicked him out of their room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day Old Hate

**Author's Note:**

> {Special thanks to [Vickie](http://boneslegendaryhands.tumblr.com/) for instigating encouraging and reading it before I posted it. If I make a fool of myself in doing so, I suppose that's on me, eh?}
> 
> I pretty much mainlined these books in a week and a half. I don't remember the last time I was that hung up on anything.
> 
> This came about because Zane's parting shot at the end of Chapter 10 ( _"Go on. I'm betting Nick's fucking waiting for you with a nice warm bed."_ ) bothered me a lot (not because I thought it would be ooc, but because it was so damn painful). But it also got me thinking about how and what Ty _did_ all night, since we know the place was cleaned up and Zane's clothes were folded next to a glass of water and some painkillers.
> 
> So here's what I think could have gone down.

Ty stumbled out of the room with his pants still down around his thighs; his hands shook as he tried again and again to yank them back up. The door slammed shut behind him, and he flinched at the sound. Someone cleared their throat, and he looked up to see Nick glancing down at his own feet.

"Guess you heard that?"

Nick nodded. "Pretty sure Kelly heard it downstairs."

"Fuck."

"You OK?"

Ty sniffed and shoved his palms against his eyes. "No."

"Can I-"

"I need to go clean up," Ty said as his fingers fumbled with the button on his jeans. Nick didn't try to stop him, didn't say anything else at all as Ty walked down the hallway, and Ty wasn't sure if that made the humiliation he felt easier or not. He'd begged, he'd admitted weakness, and Zane had thrown it right back at him. It stung like a motherfucker.

He stepped around the glass on the steps and nodded once at Kelly, who was helping Ava pick up the chairs and tables that had been overturned.

"Six?"

Ty tensed. "Not now Doc." He grabbed a broom and dust pan, then walked back to the stairs and began sweeping in silence.

The task didn't take long, and before he knew it he was beside Kelly, broom in hand as he swept up splinters from the barstool. He could still see it like it was happening in real time; the way Zane had looked at him, the way Zane had tossed him around…

"Ty." The sound of someone close startled him, and Ty jumped away, instinct kicking in as he swung the broom like a baseball bat. Nick ducked under it easily, hand coming up to stop the return swing. "Whoa, it's OK, it's me."

"Dammit Irish!" Ty glared and yanked on the broom handle. Nick held his hands up and stepped back, and Ty let out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Ty winced and shook his head. "Won't help."

"It might."

"He won't listen."

"I didn't mean talk to _him_."

Ty nodded and opened his eyes. "I know. Doesn't make it less true."

Nick swore under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest. For a long moment he just stood there, staring at Ty. Then he shook his head and asked, "There another broom somewhere?"

"Behind the bar," Ty said. "Far right corner."

Nick nodded and turned to retrieve it. They worked together quietly, sweeping and straightening. After twenty minutes Ava came from the kitchen with fried chicken and two bottles of water, placing them on one of the tables and leaving again. Nick leaned his broom against the wall, then waited.

"Not hungry," Ty said as he walked further, seeing some dust and dirt in one of the corners.

"Not asking," Nick said. "It's been a hell of a day and a fucked up night, and you don't seem to be sleeping."

Ty snorted. "Just leave the drumsticks." He swallowed around his dry throat. "Just… just in case."

Nick sighed, nodded, then grabbed up a thigh and began eating. Ty could hear him, and worse, he could feel Nick's eyes on him, which only led to Ty wondering what he was thinking.

"I'm not gonna proposition you, if that's what you're thinking."

Ty actually laughed at that, one short bark of sound that had him covering his mouth just before he started trembling. The scent of fried oil and sweat and cotton and _Nick_ enveloped him as Nick's arms pulled him close, and he clung to Nick's back, face buried against his shoulder.

"Give him time," Nick whispered.

"He doesn't want me," Ty said.

Nick pulled back and held Ty's face between his hands. "Then realise it's his loss, and move on."

Ty's eyes narrowed.

"That's what I thought," Nick said. "And you're wrong, you know."

"How's that?"

Nick's hands fell away, and he shrugged. "I can't imagine fighting that much, and hurting the way he is, if I didn't want the person on the other end of it."

Ty looked away, unable to dwell on the idea that Zane might give him another chance. He grabbed his broom again and went back to sweeping, turning his back on Nick. A few seconds later, he heard Nick move away, steps purposefully loud enough to let Ty know what he was doing. The ache in Ty's chest didn't ease, but it did feel more manageable without someone trying to force him to confront it.

After he'd swept everything he could - including the upstairs hallway, which had made Kelly smile as he moved aside to let Ty work, and behind the bar - Ty straightened bottles and glasses. He grabbed a rag and wiped dust off some of the lesser used selections, wet the dish towel down, and began scrubbing the tabletops. He could remember doing this a thousand times over, hand gripping the lip of each table and digging into the underside as he swiped his hand along the edge. Next were the chairs, each getting a simple wipe down before he pulled them up and onto the tabletops.

When only the table Nick was sitting at was left, he tossed the rag into the small sink just inside the kitchen, and grabbed the broom again.

By the time the next watch rotation came around, he couldn't find another surface to clean.

"Come on," Nick said, taking him by the elbow.

"Hang on," Ty said, going behind the bar one more time. He grabbed the bottle of Ibuprofen, then snatched the bottle of water he hadn't touched off the table. He nodded to Digger, who reached out to clasp his shoulder and squeeze once before moving off towards the food that Nick had left out.

Ty mounted the steps and walked down the hall towards the room he and Zane were supposed to share, nodding at Owen as he approached. Owen nodded back, then looked away. Ty stood outside the door, heart hammering as he raised one trembling hand to grab the doorknob. It turned easily, and he realised he almost hadn't expected it to.

The room was dark, mostly. The light in the bathroom was on; a habit Zane had picked up whenever he seemed to be feeling particularly anxious or lonely, and Ty could feel it breaking something in him. He put the water and painkillers on the table nearby, then bent and started picking up the clothes Zane had dropped without care around the room. And he absolutely did _not_ look at the bed, nor at the man sleeping in it. If he did, he was certain he'd crawl into it and start begging his forgiveness again.

Shaking out the clothes, he folded them and placed them on the table, then opened the Ibuprofen and dug two of them out, placing them next to the empty glass with only a moment's hesitation. Zane had been so stubborn about pain medication once he'd started his AA, and often refused even over-the-counter drugs. A soft murmur from the bed jolted Ty out of his thoughts, and he grabbed the water bottle. He filled the glass with it, took one last look around the room, and stepped back out, pulling the door closed behind him without a sound.

He leaned back against it and tipped his head back, taking several deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth. Then he headed back down stairs.

Nick was sitting at the table with Digger, talking quietly. They both looked up with they saw Ty, and Nick stood. "Hey."

"Hey," Ty said, voice hoarse. He looked at Digger. "Do you… would it be alright if I bunked in your room for a few hours?"

Digger opened his mouth to speak when Nick cut him off. "You can stay in mine. Kelly already took his." He hooked his thumb back at Digger.

Ty nodded. "Thanks."

Nick shook his head. "Anytime." They walked up the stairs together, and Nick opened the door to the room he had shared with Kelly. "Sit," he said, pointing at the bed, and Ty sank onto the mattress without argument. Nick stepped into the small washroom and scrubbed his hands and face, then walked back out and sat down next to Ty. "You should sleep," he said after a few minutes of silence.

Ty huffed. "Yeah. It'd be a lot easier if…" He trailed off and leaned over, hands braced on his knees and head hung low between his shoulders.

"You know none of us are gonna think less of you." Nick gave him a soft smile as Ty looked up. "If you go back in there."

It was tempting, so goddamn tempting, but Ty shook his head. " _I'd_ think less of me." He sighed. "Not that my opinion of myself can get much lower right now." He vaulted off the bed and began pacing.

"Did you mean it, when you said you love him?"

Ty rounded on him, glaring. "Of _course_ I meant it!" His hands flew as he let himself vent. "I never, not once, lied about how I felt about him. Not _once_." He spun around and began pacing again. "I shouldn't have said anything, I should have just let him hate me for keeping secrets, it would be better than this."

"Would it really?"

The words made Ty stop, hands at his sides as he stared at the wall in front of him. "You don't think it would?"

There was silence for a moment, then Nick said, "I think you'd be a lot worse off if you hadn't come clean."

Ty couldn't argue; he was fairly certain Nick was right. It had been a terrible burden, knowing that the man he considered a uncle had believed the man he loved could be a traitor. He put his hands on his hips and let out a breath. "You're probably right."

"Of course I am," Nick said. "I'm the brains here, remember?"

Ty chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah." He looked over at the washroom. "I'm just gonna…" He pointed, looking over his shoulder at Nick, who nodded.

"Course."

"Thanks."

He didn't wait for the water to heat up, letting the cold hit his face like a slap. His reflection in the mirror made him cringe, and seconds later he couldn't stop himself as he hunched over the toilet and retched. Tears pricked at his eyes as he lost what little he'd been able to eat earlier, sickened by the memory of Zane's eyes and hands and words.

 _I want you to hurt like I do_.

Ty wasn't sure, but he had a strong suspicion that Zane had succeeded in his objective. The knowledge that Zane was just as miserable right now had Ty gripping the side of the toilet bowl for dear life as the world around him seemed to spin out of his control.

"Brought you some water." Nick's voice was close, and Ty coughed up a bit more bile, sagging down onto the cool tiles. He reached up and took the bottle, distantly noticing it was the one he'd used to fill Zane's glass. Clutching it to his chest, he wondered what Deuce would say about that; about him filling the glass instead of leaving the bottle, about him drinking the rest of it. Probably something about how _interesting_ it was that Ty still felt the need to put Zane first, even after everything that had happened.

It took him three tries, but he finally got the top off the bottle and took a sip. Then he took another.

Nick leaned over and flushed the toilet, then held out a hand without a word. Ty took it and let himself be hauled up.

"Come on." Nick's voice was gentle, as though Ty was a wild animal he'd spooked. _It's not the worst comparison_ , Ty thought, as Nick led him back to the bed. He sat down and began removing his boots, sipping the water here and there as his breathing evened out. He stood and shucked his jeans, folding them up and placing them on one of the chairs. His shirt followed, and he crawled into bed beside Nick in just his boxer briefs.

They lay there, not touching, and Ty stared at the wall. "So is this…" He couldn't finish the question.

Nick shifted beside him, and Ty felt a hand on his shoulder. He tensed, but Nick didn't push or pull at him. He just held on. "This is where I tell you to shut up and don't listen to what he said."

Ty rolled then, facing Nick. "Not gonna take advantage of my compromised emotions?"

Nick's mouth was a thin line. "That shit's not funny, Ty."

Ty nodded. "I know."

"The fact that you'd even _think_ I'd do that-"

"You kissed me when I said I was in love with someone else."

Nick heaved a sigh. "I did. And I apologised to both of you." He licked his lips, tongue darting out between them in a gesture that was nothing like how Zane would do it, and Ty felt his cheeks heat up as he thought about Zane's tongue and lips and how often his gaze had been drawn to them by something as innocuous as that.

"I'm not gonna lie," Nick said. "If I thought, for even a second, that you were here because you wanted _me_?" He shrugged the shoulder not trapped between himself and the bed. "I'd be all over you. If you were in my bed because this was where you wanted to be, I'd do everything I could to make you forget his name."

Ty blinked rapidly at the idea of losing himself in the feeling of someone else. His backside still ached from Zane, and the idea of anyone else… He shook his head. "I don't think I could ever forget him," he said, voice tinged with melancholy. He met Nick's eyes. "He was gonna propose. We… we were at a hotel, just… just for fun, and…" Ty's voice shook. "And then my phone rang."

Nick sucked in a breath. "It was me, wasn't it?"

Ty nodded.

Nick cursed. "So in other words, I am the world's _worst_ friend."

Ty shook his head. "No. Pretty sure I'm just the world's worst boyfriend." He let out an angry huff. "He said, _Don't answer it this time_ ," Ty told him. "And I did anyway. I couldn't give him just a few minutes, because I was so worried about what it might be that I was willing to drop the moment we were having."

"Ty-"

"And it was you and… you said, _help_ , and I…" Ty rubbed a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry."

Ty shrugged. "Not like you knew what we were doing."

"Doesn't make what I did any less shitty."

Ty hummed in response. They lay there for a while, not talking, not sleeping. Ty's eyes had drifted down to the sheet beneath them. "I don't know what I'm gonna do without him," he admitted.

Nick lay back and looked at the ceiling. "Like I said. Give him time." He looked back at Ty. "He's hurting. So are you. Hell, most of us are still pissed as shit with you for keeping us in the dark about Liam Fucking Bell."

Ty flinched, but nodded.

"But the thing is, we love you. And Zane?"

Ty looked up and met Nick's eyes again, hope burning in them like nothing Nick had ever seen before.

"Zane's gonna know, when he wakes up, that this is a mistake."

Ty's lower lip trembled.

"Zane's gonna know you two belong together."

With a cut off sob, Ty pushed forward, wrapping his arms around Nick's shoulders. He buried his face in the crook of Nick's neck, chest shuddering as he cried. Nick's arms came up to pull him close, offering comfort and support. Ty let himself break down, let himself take the comfort that Nick had always granted him when he needed it.

As his sobs turned to hiccoughs, he shifted until his head was resting over Nick's right shoulder, arm still tucked over Nick's chest.

"Tell me what I can do," Nick said as they settled.

"Just…" Ty closed his eyes. "Just let me stay right here and pretend I'm OK. Just for a little while."

Nick nodded. "Of course." He ran his palms up and down Ty's back in smooth, wide circles. "Look at it this way," he said, voice soft and careful. "It's not that shithole in Afghanistan."

Ty choked a little and nodded. "Yeah," he said, burrowing closer as he whispered, "This hurts more."

**Author's Note:**

> [Title taken from, "Day Old Hate," by City & Colour. I really, really cannot recommend that song enough; the whole album is just full of Ty/Zane feels for me, but that song really hits home for this moment between them, I think.]


End file.
